When you meet a leader who is positive and patient you are meeting someone who has learned to be self-aware and manage their frustrations in a healthy way. This doesn’t happen automatically for most people - it is part of the work that goes on behind the scenes for a leader.

This week Jo and Steph talk emotional intelligence and the importance of self awareness and social awareness in order to lead effectively without those negative emotions getting in the way of our relationships.

1) Self-awareness is being aware of what you’re feeling and why.  It takes time to identify and name what we are really feeling underneath.

2) Self-management is making a plan to intentionally renew your mind by creating holy habits.

3) Social-awareness is growing in sympathy towards others, learning social clues and intentionally making time to observe and find out what people are really feeling.

4) Relationship management is being able to move a group into something which is best for everybody without ignoring the underlying emotions of a group.

Check out:

Primal leadership by Daniel Goleman.

Download Emotional intelligence framework:

Emotional Intelligence handout

Discussion questions:

1) Identify a time recently when unexpected negative emotions surfaced.  Take some time to process the root of those emotions.  Remember the emotion you felt is probably the surface emotion for another deeper issue. Remember journalling can be a great tool for processing as well as talking with others, praying etc.

2) Read Romans 12:1-2.  Steph shared that she prayed for patience in times of frustrations with housemates until patience became a habit and Jo mentioned meditating on a scripture from James to help her remain calm in a difficult meeting. Both were ways that God used to renewed their minds and grow their character.  After you have identified a root emotion, what intentional small step do you wish to put in place as your plan of action for the next time this emotion begins to surface?

3) Do you find yourself naturally being empathetic with others or not? Discuss different social cues which can help you be more aware of others’ emotions.

4) How can you make steps to intentionally assess the emotional atmosphere in your areas of influence and take it into consideration whilst still leading in obedience to the direction God is leading your group in?

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